Just like a sailor

Apparently my mom also believes me to be a slut because just the other day she says to me:
So, who you bringing to Christmas?
And I'm just kind of like, I'm not bringing anyone, why would I bring anyone?
You're not bringing Devin?
Why would I bring Devin? We broke up over 2 years ago.
I mean Justin. Justin is not coming?
We're not going out anymore.
What about whats his name?
Who, Brian? Who lives in Georgia? Why would he come up here.
There's no one up here? I thought you had like a guy in every port.

Thanks mom.