JC Penney

I am a little put off by JC Penney right now.

I went there yesterday because I am in need of a job and there was a posting on-line saying the one in LaGrange was hiring.
I'm not going to lie, I felt like I was a shoe in for the job. With eight years of retail experience under my belt and flawless bull-shitting capabilities I felt I was a perfect fit.
So, I get there and inquire about the positions and they direct me to there service kiosk where I am subjected to a 40 minute, ridiculously long application process.
Despite it's extreme length and the idiocy of the questions I felt like I was nailing it.

There I am, 40 minutes deep in the process and just about complete and I am asked to answer some questions about the job. I answer about 20 questions and this screen pops up and tells me, the perfect applicant for this position, that based on the answers to my questions, I am not what JC Penney is looking for at this time.

I am fairly offended at this point in time. After how long I spent filling out this application to have a computer tell me I don't qualify. I didn't even get to talk to a person and charm them over with my suave. And what really gets me is I'm not allowed to apply for another job at JC Penney for 180 days. For real?

When did getting a shitty job become so serious?

uncomfortable possibilities

Brian's ex-girlfriends birthday is this weekend and I know this because yesterday, Brian says to me, "My friend, actually my ex-girlfriend, is celebrating her birthday this weekend and going to this show in Atlanta. She invited me to go- and you, if you want to come, do you want to go?"
So naturally, due to my constant goal to seem nonchalant and cool I say, "Ya, sounds like fun, lets go." Where in actuality, my mind is saying, "What? Go to an ex girlfriends birthday and hang out with all of said ex-girlfriends friends? Ya right, fuck that shit. If I want to feel uncomfortable for a night I can arrange to do that right here in LaGrange, no need to travel an hour to accomplish that."

So, um, ya. I know it really don't matter (as far as being a grown up is concerned) but its awkward enough to be around people you don't know, even more awkward to be around people you don't know and the only reason why your around them is because the guy your dating used to be in a serious relationship with one of them.

Am I wrong to think this would be really awkward or should I just bite the bullet, grow up and go?

Addresses

So I made my plea on facebook, and yes many of you responded but many of you didn't. So, to all you bitches and hoes who didn't send me their address this is your last chance, if I don't get an address you surely wont get any mail from me- and I am strongly considering changing exclusively to written letters and the like instead of using facebook to keep in touch.

Just saying, you want mail (everyone likes getting mail) give me your address.

Dead Phone

I don't know what happened but my phone broke.
So, I am using my phone yesterday and the screen is white. It's a flip phone so the front screen seems to work intermittently but overall, if I press any buttons or open it, everything goes white.
This means I cannot see texts, I cannot send text and unless I have a number memorized I cannot make calls. As an avid texter, I am a bit annoyed.

So prior to the phone dieing, Brian had sent me a text asking to meet me for lunch. In the middle of texting him back, the screen went white and I had to type blindly, having complete faith in my fingers and my t9-word.
He texts me back but I can't read the text.
Fortunately, a few weeks ago Brian and I had discussed our phone numbers and came up with a way to remember his in the event that we didn't have our cell phones. They way he told me to remember his was because the last 4 digits were 2428, because I am 24 and he is almost 28.
So I decided to call him and let him know the situation.
I dialed up the number from my office phone since I wasn't sure if my phone was working at all. I didn't expect him to pick up because he was at work so I wasn't surprised when it went to voicemail. He has an automated voicemail that is just a women's voice saying you have reached this number. For a brief moment I worried that I had dialed the wrong number, but I figured, what were the odds that someone would have a similar number and the same automated voicemail. So I left a message explaining that my phone didn't seem to be receiving texts and to call me at the office.
About an hour passed and I hadn't heard form him. It was just about lunch time so I decided to call again, this time on my cell phone, thinking that maybe he ignored the first call since it was from an unknown number. Once again it went to voicemail and once again I left an elaborate message about how many phone isn't receiving texts but apparently I can receive calls and if he still wanted to go to lunch he should call me back.
Well, I continue with my days work and go to Julies office for a little while to chat. An hour goes by and I decide to randomly check my voice mail since I can't see if anyone has called but perhaps Brian has, and he did. So I hit the proper keys on the phone to return the call. This is when I find out that Brian's number ends with 2824, not 2428...

Sorry 2428 for all the calls that don't make sense...

Chocolate?

Like many people, I have decided to use the New Year as a starting point for a becoming a healthier Adrienne.

The catch, of course, is all that left over holiday candy. Especially the giant stocking chock full of Hershey Kisses. To the say the least my attempts to avoid sugar and other fatty goods has been falling short of healthy.

At first, I was grateful that my mother had put some rather sketchy candies into my stocking. I kind of figured that I wouldn't eat the giant chocolate Santa labeled "chocolate flavored" but for what ever reason I held on to it. Maybe someone else would want it....

Well here we are, almost a month from Christmas and the Hershey Kisses are gone but my chocolate cravings persist, only strengthened by my lack of other junk food eating.
Though I have reservations about eating a supposed chocolate bar that in small letters under the words: Solid Milk Chocolate it reads "flavored" almost like its an after thought or even worse, something they don't want you to notice... but a girls got to attend to her cravings, so, here goes...

Library Awkwardness

You know when you go to the library to return a book there is usually a designated section at the counter for book returns? It may be a slot in the counter top or it may just be a box labeled "returns" but regardless, it is always a noticeable area. Well, the LaGrange College library does not have such a place so when I went to return my book the other day I was a little confused as to where I should put it. So, my options were to ask the women at the desk or, as I chose to do, simply renew the book for another month until I figure out where to return it.

So I broke down and brought up the boyfriend/girlfriend concept with Brian, so all you bitches who be nagging me about our status can opt to refer to us as boyfriend/girlfriend if you so choose.

Just going for a jog

So I slept over Brian's last night and woke up with no time to spare. I had to book it back to the dorm and change quickly and get my butt to work.
As I was pulling into the dorm parking lot I saw Mark. I waved but I don't think he saw me. I ended up parking a couple spaces away from where he was standing so I got out of the car and began to walk over to him to say hello when I hear him call out to a mother son duo, "are you here for football recruiting?" I decided that going up to him dressed like a slob as he is about to introduce recruits to LaGrange was probably not the best idea so I b-line it for my dorm.
In my haste, I miscalculated the step from the parking lot onto the grass and I face planted in the Georgia clay. Fortunately, with my cat like reflexes I was back on my feet in a nanosecond. Feeling flustered and unsure if Mark or anyone around me had just saw that, I decided to turn it into a little jog like move- because everyone likes to do one push up before they jog.

A good start to the New Year

I have been delighted to find the New Year to be full of people who agree with me on some very important issues. One being my Fart Particle Theory and the other being my Squatter Theory.

For those who are unaware of my Fart Particle Theory, let me fill you in.

The argument that the FP Theory presents is that in order for your nose to recognize a scent it must come in contact with particles. A simple illustration of this would be smoke. You may not be able to visibly perceive smoke, but smoke is detected by your nose once enough particles are present in the air. This same concept applies to farts.
The most controversial aspect of this theory is the essence of the FP's. According to this theory, those fart particles are in fact pieces of feces (as logic would induce). This meaning, that as you smell a fart, you are actually inhaling feces (albeit small particles, but none the less...).
Obviously this is disgusting but despite my intensive research many people are still non-believers and even worse, don't mind smelling farts.

Fortunately, not even an hour after the clock struck 12 and it was officially the New Year, I had the opportunity to explain my FP Theory to both Brian and his friend Don and guess what? Total agreement. Of course, these are logical people.

My next theory is on squatters. There was much discussion on squatters a few years back and my opinion was of course that they were disgusting slobs who were destroying modern society. Yet again, my opinion was met with opposition.

I'll out line my Squatters Theory as well.

The Squatter Theory basically refers to women who choose to hover over public toilets opposed to sitting down. The idea is that public toilets are too dirty and therefor one's baby soft buttocks can not handle the act of sitting on the porcelain throne. The problem with this idea is that women who squat, without exception, also spray. Their urine becomes sprinkled all across the seat creating in fact- a dirty toilet. The thing is, these "squatters" are the ones making the toilet such a mess. If everyone just chose to sit, there wouldn't be urine all over the fucking bathroom, it would just go into the bowl and be flushed away. Squatters are creating unsanitary environments for all nonconformist.

I have brought this up many a time without meeting many people who agree yet not even two days into the New Year, I bring my theory up to this girl at a bar and wouldn't you know, I found a person who agrees.

Now I don't know if its 2011 or maybe it's just the South, but I am refreshed to find so many logical people.