Contemplations on making friends

There is an uncomfortable uncertainty whenever entering into a new relationship. I feel like this uncertainty is even greater when entering a friendship than when entering a romantic relationship because at least when entering a romantic relationship it can be assumed that there is at the very least a physical attraction. With friends you really have to ask yourself, "why does this person even like me?"

And I have to be completely honest with myself and accept the fact that the majority of friends I make down here are going to be friends of circumstance. We will become friends purely because it is convenient for both our lives and no one likes to be alone. Because of this I find myself entering friendships with a bit more trepidation. This means, in the name of making friends, I find myself "watering down" my personality a bit; making it a bit more "people friendly" if you will.

It's not that I am not confident that I am completely awesome, because I am, but it is more of an issue of trying to appease the masses. At home I can just be my bad ass self and those who enjoy that stick around and those who don't... well, don't. Down here I don't have a base group of friends and to develop such a group I need to make myself marketable to as many people as possible.

This means a few things. First, I find myself using unnecessary exclamation points and smiley faces far more often while texting. I believe this makes people feel as if I am a warm and upbeat person, thus more friendable.
I also find myself being more active on facebook with friending new people and commenting on their lives. I feel this shows people that I am actively interested in their lives and I believe that is what people look for in a friend.
Lastly in the process of becoming more marketable, I literally just have to watch what I say. I down play any enjoyment I may have once gotten from alcohol or unsavory substances in the event that one does not agree with such practices. I do not make satirical comments on why most people in this world suck in the event that one is related to or friends with one of these sucky people and of course, above all, I limit the conversations I have regarding my sorted past in the event that one does not want to be friends with a complete fuck.